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Tuesday, 9 December 2008

A Bad Day

What a depressing day. I can't really go into it, I don't really know ONE thing that's wrong, it's more a combination of things happening. A lot of it has something to do with the fact that it's Christmas and yet my home is not done like I'd like it to be, it's still messy, I'm trying to be organised and yet once again, like every year I'm not. This time though I can't just run to my Mum's home to spend Christmas and enjoy as no one's here anymore. I'm very sad, depressed and I don't know what I feel.

This year I vowed to be more organised for Christmas. My tree is finally up despite me thinking to myself if I should bother since it's so late into December already. I can't find my Christmas decorations nor lights and I'm sure it's been lost or thrown as I've got two Christmas boxes with all Christmas decorations and I've got all my Christmas stuff but my bag of tree decors and the tree lights. I'm so very sad because that means I've lost the icicle fairy light covers that I've had for as long as I can remember.

Having said that, the appearance of my tree up with a skirt, two vintage heart decoration, handmade bauble by my Mum and a personalised bauble with Mr and my name along with our beautiful Angel tree topper is lifting my spirits slightly and pushing me to keep going.

So today is an extremely bad day, lets hope tomorrow is better and that I will be able to grab some nice decors for cheap and have pics of my tree before the end of this week. I'm also terribly missing my Mum & Sister and the rest of my very large family (scattered around the globe) and miss the large Christmas we celebrate. Today is definitely the day that I'm realising my loneliness. The Christmas prep that we normally share (Sister, Mum & I) are no longer here and I try to do it on my own and it's just not the same.

I am optimistic in hoping that tomorrow WILL be a better day. Apologies for this extremely tedious post and somewhat incoherent but it's been a bad day.

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